Friday, July 01, 2005

the weird things...

... i read while at work today.


no.1
I don't know why they left the fly...
IF ONLY the fly on the wall could have made a documentary, what a story it would have told. Instead, the insect sat it out while the brains of a top City accountancy firm spent four hours trying to work out what to do with the pest. At first, a secretary at KPMG e-mailed her 'facilities service department' asking for help in killing it. A terse reply from someone called Susan informed her aerosol fly sprays have been banned on health grounds. She offered to call a cleaning firm, but pointed out the fly would probably be dead before they got there. The secretary - called Victoria - then asked for a fly swat, but none turned up. A colleague, stunned by the tortuous exchange, forwarded it to office magazine PersonnelToday.com.

errrm... well, hmm... why didn't she just opened the window and let the fly fly out? orrr... is it also another rule in the company that windows cannot be opened?


no.2
A sexual high is just the tip of the iceberg - by Sarah Hills
IT CERTAINLY explains a lot about rabbits...
Lettuce is an ancient Viagra which can boost your sexual performance, scientists revealed yesterday. It produces chemicals which act as stimulants and was used by the Egyptians as an aphrodisiac.
The discovery was made by botanist Giorgio Samorini when he solved a riddle which had foiled experts for decades.
Min, the ancient Egyptian god of sexuality, is often depicted in bas reliefs with a vegetable - and nobody knew what or why. But Mr Samorini identified the plant as a bitter-leaved wild lettuce known as Lactuca serriola.
This initially confused him because, since Roman times, the sap produced by lettuce has been thought to dampen sexual desire. Emperor Nero is said to have eaten it to rid him of erotic dreams and Pliny the Elder wrote that lettuce 'can cool sexual appetite as well as a feverish body'.
The Italian botanist carried out tests on the vegetable which revealed that in small amounts the sap does, indeed, have a sedative effect. But in larger doses the substance - which includes a cocaine-like chemical - acts as a sexual stimulant.
'About 1g induces calming and pain-killing effects,' said Mr Samorini, editor of the botanical journal Eleusis. 'At higher doses, 2g to 3g, the stimulating effects prevail.'
He added : 'This finally solves an ethnobotanical riddle and explains the association between Min and lettuce.'

errr, okayys... i just had one-quarter of an iceberg! does that amount to 2g-3g of sap?! urm, i don't wanna be err... 'nuff said.


no.3
NO TICKLING
Ever wondered why you don't laugh when you tickle yourself? It's all down to our need to be ready for the unexpected, research shows.
The brain anticipates trivial sensations, such as your own touch, so it can focus on more important ones, such as a tarantula crawling up your neck. Sensation is less when the brain expects it and 'combining senses with the expected gives a picture of the outside world', researchers at University College London said.

so i don't laugh when i tickle myself... BUT WTH AM I DOING TICKLING MYSELF!?! in fact, why are people tickling themselves?!?!?!


no.4
GERMANY : Women should not play beach volleyball unless they want sagging breasts, a top plastic surgeon warned yesterday. Dr George Khoury said the growing popularity of the sport had led to dozens of women coming to him complaining of the problem.
'Breasts were not made for swinging up and down 300 times within a short period,' added the 39-year-old, from Hamburg. 'Men should also wear tight pants to stop their testicles from sagging.'

urm... so men should wear tight pants but women should not play? hmmmph... gender discrimination??? aiyoh, sagging breasts and testicles are part and parcel of life... isn't it?


no.5
Girl marries dog
A NINE-YEAR-old girl has married a stray dog in front of more than 100 people in India.
The tribal custom is intended to protect the child from evil, reports the Press Trust of India.
Karnamoni Hasda married the street dog in West Bengal state's Hooghly district.
The Santhal tribe believes a child is in grave danger if their first tooth appears on the upper gum.
A canine marriage is said to be the only way of warding off evil. The child can remarry a human after growing up.
The report says Karnamoni's canine marriage did not take place immediately after her first tooth appeared because her father's financial problems did not allow for a wedding at the time.

marry a dog?! err... well, i guess dogs would make a better husband since they are loyal unlike SOME MEN who can be cheating lying husbands. but on the other hand... animal sex?! that's just soooo wrong!!!




sigh... the things i think about while at work. what's up with me?





all news taken from METRO (June 30,2005). there's the online version of the paper too... click
HHHEEERRRRREEEE to read more if you want.

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